Reading and Life Update 4, 2024: Surprise, I’m having another baby

I was doing so well with those monthly updates – how efficient early 2024 Jen was. Enter the second half of the year.

It has been almost six months since I last blogged anything on here and last time I left on a bit of a cliffhanger suggesting some exciting news. It is … drumroll … I’m pregnant. For three more days as of today. Next week I’ll deliver a little human into the world and my life will once again be thrown into chaos and wildness.

My first time round at early parenting was tough – I had an emergency caesarean birth which left me with complicated feelings, I developed post-partum depression and anxiety, I didn’t have a reliable income but was trying to promote Adulting101 whilst wearing a baby on my chest and surviving on too little sleep. It was hard and for a lot of those difficult first twelve months I blamed this on myself – it was hard because I wasn’t (insert actions here … doing the right things, moving my body enough, writing enough, working enough, feeding properly, producing enough milk, etc. etc. etc.)

This difficulty was resolved by therapy, medication, time, and a shit ton of support from close friends and family. When I learned I was pregnant again early this year, I knew I was not up for entering the doldrums in that same way. I wanted to try and build a little of my resilience. So, I spent a lot of this year in therapy with a wonderful therapist who gets matrescence in a deep and meaningful way. And I worked on the questions that I had lingering about my own abilities. And, I wrote (more on that below). I wrote in my journal, I wrote short stories, and I wrote memoir. Writing down the bones, as Natalie Goldberg would say, to get to the real stuff.

So I have no idea when next I’ll write here, or what spirit I’ll be in, but I hope that it is soon and in the spirit of self-compassion. And now, for a little update.

Reading Goals 2024

Since I last wrote in April I’ve read a fair bit. Some favourites for this year have been:

• Claire Kilroy, Soldier Sailor.
• Maggie O’Farrell, I am I am I am
• Alistair Mackay, The Child

These books were immersive, compelling, and wonderful. I’ve also been listening to the Overstory on Libby and it has been great, but it’s long and taking me forever.

Watching

• Emily in Paris – At the recommendation of friends I started Emily in Paris this week to have something gentle to absorb during my maternity leave. It has been a frivolous treat, and I love seeing Paris and France on screen again.
• Master Class – My husband and I re-subscribed to Master Class and I’ve been listening to Michael Lewis’s course on writing non-fiction. I’m enjoying it a lot.
• Kids TV shows – My little one is two and a half so we’ve been allowing a few minutes of TV a week. Sweet shows are Trash Truck (though the cast is very male-dominated) and Puffin Rock.

Podcasts

Loving How to Write a Book and The Hidden Lives of Writers.

Things other than reading and watching TV

In February I started studying and in August I qualified as a post-partum doula with Wombs Doulas. Part of this journey was an attempt to understand how I could support other mothers so that they didn’t turn inward when the early months were hard. It was a rewarding course, and I am proud to say that I passed my exam with distinction. From 2025 I hope to start practicing part time and making sure that other new moms know that it feels hard because it is hard, not because you are doing anything wrong.

I also started a new job as a Gender Specialist with a wonderful consulting firm called Genesis Analytics, in the Evaluation for Development Team. So far my entry into this work has been so warm and caring and really just makes me think that this is a workplace that gets it in terms of nurturing talent and also nurturing humans. Feel very excited for what the future holds in my role.

But is she writing?

Yes! My short story collection is sitting at around 62000 words and thank you to two wonderful beta readers, Megan Ross (get her books here and find out more about her work here) and Máire Fisher (get her books here and attend her writing workshops here) I have received some very useful constructive feedback that I’m working on. I’d hope to have finished this completely before the new baby arrived, but I’ve failed. It’s at about 80% good enough-ness.

I feel a lot of things about this – despair (will I ever get back to it?), curiosity (what will the second time as a mother of a newborn and small child bring up for me and inspire?), hope (maybe it will make the collection better to sit for a bit). Since I’m in a process of surrender in all aspects of my life, it’s the spirit in which I’m approaching this too.

And you?

What have you been up to? Writing? Living? Doing anything exciting? Tell me. I’d love to hear.